How dare you question Phil Swift! You’ve seen the man saw a boat in half, for goodness sake! And then tape it back together! If it didn’t work, wouldn’t we have heard about that by now? Well, lots of people have fact-checked Flex Tape, and (gasp) not all of them have come to the conclusion that Flex Tape is as awesome as Phil Swift makes it out to be.Ī local Fox station in Texas tried Flex Tape on a leaky pipe and attempted to seal a leak underwater, and achieved the exact same success you see in the commercials. Is Flex Tape truly as awesome as the commercials say? Seriously, Phil, you were just a loud guy with a roll of tape pretending to be Billy Mays on late-night television before JonTron came along, you can’t at least give him a lifetime supply of Flex Tape or something? Maybe a zombie-proof wall for his front yard or a couple boats you cut up and taped together? Talk about ungrateful. Then Phil Swift became like a god and Flex Tape became famous and JonTron clearly deserved some kind of kickback for that. There are literally millions of people in this world who think watching some guy make fun of a roll of tape is a good use of 10 minutes. Yes, he who hath obtained fame by sitting on his couch and talking about stuff on YouTube decided to sit on his couch and talk about Flex Tape, and the video he made has 35 million views so far. How exactly does a stupid roll of tape gain international fame, its own library of ridiculous memes, and the love and adoration of men and women everywhere? How did Flex Tape become so famous?įlex Tape may be endowed with supernatural powers that even Thanos himself would envy, but it’s still just a stupid roll of tape. The younger Swift evidently worked as a production assistant on the first Flex Seal commercial, so clearly, Flex Seal is coursing through the veins of pretty much everyone in that family tree. Phil did post about his son on Instagram - Nic Swift is a music producer living in Los Angeles, and he even has some Flex Seal cred. So you’re probably not going to get any secret insight into the family life of Phil Swift from either of those sources. There’s evidently a third brother, too: Rick Swift, who has way less hair than either of his brothers and an Instagram page that is, sadly, private. He didn’t even post a "hello, just testing out my cool new Instagram page" when he set the dang thing up. Who is this Alan? Is he as stunningly beautiful as his brother? Does superhuman charisma and marketing genius run in the family? To find out, you could join the 1,800-plus fans who follow Alan on Instagram, but you might be waiting a while because as Alan has posted exactly zero times to his Instagram account as of this writing. We already know that Phil Swift launched the Flex Seal company with his brother Alan, but intel on Alan is notoriously difficult to find. Phil Swift’s family doesn’t seem to relish fame the way Phil does So if Phil and Alan Swift have been around for more than a quarter of a century, why, oh why, did they not grace the world with their revolutionary products earlier? Perhaps the world just wasn’t ready. Together, the pair founded Swift Response LLC, which specializes in "high performance products that are easy to use and solve every day common issues in the workplace and home." His brother Alan, who gets a lot less air time but is also one of the geniuses behind the Flex Seal and Flex Tape family of products, is a University of Houston graduate with 26 years in business administration. According to Flex Seal Spray Can (a Flex Seal affiliate site that sorta seems like it might be run by Phil?), Phil Swift has been in the marketing and direct sales industry since the ’80s. The marketing genius and super human we all know as Phil Swift was not always the boat-sawing, universe-saving man he is today. This will be very hard to digest, so prepare yourself for some hard truth. If you have ever wanted to know the real story behind Flex Tape, the struggles and triumphs of its two genius creators, the ways in which this product will solve climate change and end world hunger, well … stick around. Yes, this amazing tape has, at least according to the world’s foremost meme designers, the power to mend a black hole, repair relationships between North and South Korea, and also stop the fall of Rome because it is not bound by the base constructs of space or time or being an inanimate object. For the last couple years, the winner of the "most fun to make fun of" product has been Flex Tape. Every once in a while, a product comes along that is so amazing, so revolutionary, so beyond the wildest fathomings of the human imagination, that we dedicate our spare time, creativity, and meme-making skills to making fun of it.
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